Hi, I'm Rhiannon. You might know me as the girl who brings her own soap. How are things? How's your mom? I'm fine, thanks.
So hey, I'm pretty good at math, especially measurements.
I can eyeball suit measurements from twenty paces and a bra from fifteen. My baked goods rise and shine as instructed without use of teaspoon or tablespoon.
What I CANNOT do, dearest host country, is predict exactly how much toilet paper I will need before entering the sanctity of my stall. Life takes many an unexpected turn and I cannot be prepared for all eventualities.
I don't want to be wasteful and pull a whole bon voyage party of micron-thin woodchips disguised as tissue from the communal roll (also: embarrassing) but what are my other options? I'm pretty sure I can't use my omnipresent Lysol wipes for that, and my clutch is only so big.
I understand you've probably got some genetic lead since your people built some pretty mathematically swank pyramids and came up with the concept of zero while all mine managed was the occasional standing stone. Do you know what standing stones are?
They're the Pretty In Pink prom gown of the megalith world.
You know it, I know it and the ancient Britons know it.
A little help over here?
Yours Truly,
Rhiannon Gammill
When I lived in Egypt, I found that this was exactly the perfect use for minipacks of Kleenex. In fact, the bathrooms often had NO toilet paper, not even a communal roll, so I rarely left my apartment without a pack in my bag. And hand sanitizer. Always hand sanitizer.
ReplyDeleteI came here to say this exact thing. In Russia, I would be lucky if the bathrooms at school had an old newspaper draped over the side of the stall for such usage. Ew. Miniature packs of tissue were my best friends and constant companions.
DeleteThis prompts me to publicly express gratitude to the humble bathroom in a trailer behind the sari shop in New Delhi.
ReplyDeleteDear trailer toilet: I was a traveler in need, and just when I was sure I would be reduced to squatting in a dark alleyway, you appeared. Your well-worn exterior concealed a clean, bright interior, complete with western style toilet, toilet paper (!), and soap(!!)...and a heavenly chorus of angels singing. Thank you.
I hope the toilet paper is at least free? I remember being in Near Eastern Europe and having to pay some ungodly amount of money to a grim-faced attendant for the privilege of being rationed out two whole squares. No matter what your agenda entailed.
ReplyDeleteThose little purse-sized kleenex packages-- and a sample-sized bottle of purell-- are always in my purse when I'm traveling outside the country. Granted I carry a bigger bag than a clutch!
ReplyDelete10,000 years of civilisation and we can't even get this right. Makes you wonder why we bothered to come down out of the trees.
ReplyDeleteReminds me of China, small tissue pack, hand wipes, and a cross body bag to we can hold up our pant legs.
ReplyDeleteWhile we're on the subject - is it just me, or is every single toilet in Mexico too low?
ReplyDeleteThis has something to do with the cosine, I just know it.
ReplyDelete