There comes a time in every young blogger's life where she simply must shut her laptop and walk away from Google Analytics.
Google Analytics, for those of you who've never had the pleasure, is a tool that allows a site's owner to monitor their online performance in a bunch of simultaneously fascinating and almost endlessly boring ways. It shows you how people get to your site through referrals, advertising and most interestingly, search phrases.
It's dead handy to have but sometimes it shares a bit too much.
I could have lived a rich and fulfilling life never knowing someone was googling for naked photos of me on January 11th (First, Ew. Second: You get a lot of Beth Ditto) or discovering a search term that included the phrase "dirty feet and bullwhips" landed some inevitably disappointed anti-pedicure S&M enthusiast on my launch page sometime last week.
I only hope he doesn't beat himself up about it.
On that note, I'm taking the rest of the day to have a nice drink and a lie down before I completely gross myself out. Have a wonderful weekend you all, and be sure to put your plans in the comments!
Confidential to Nude Googler:
It's all a question of lighting, darling...and roofies. Obviously.